Undocumented Speeders on the Rise

Suzuki SX4
Suzuki SX4 Sport Hatch – a car recently involved in an undocumented speeder sting by CHP.

There’s a growing number of people who are being treated unfairly by the unjust laws in our country and action should be taken immediately to give them amnesty rather than persecute these poor souls any further. The plight of undocumented speeders on the highways and byways of this great nation are many. They take to the road seeking a better life than the clogged commuter lanes and congested freeways they have to commute upon in their homeland, and only speed on open roads because it is so prohibitively expensive and difficult to qualify for a racing license in order to speed legally.

Undocumented speeders, the politically correct term for illegal speeders, just want better commute times so they can spend more quality time with their families and get to work on time to avoid losing precious pay to hourly wages.  They come from generations of undocumented speeders, some going back to before the automobile was invented and they actually raced horses through the dusty, boardwalk-sided dirt streets of the old west. Because those streets were raced upon by their ancestors, they have every right to continue to speed illegally on the streets of America today.

It would be a simple act of congress to reform the process for becoming a legal racer in the United States. An amnesty plan to forgive all those speeding tickets received thus far, a racing license to make all the undocumented speeders legal, and of course free race tracks and cars should be issued to every community. In addition, special classes on speeding should be taught in schools to help explain the adversity that undocumented speeders have had to overcome. But conservatives and opponents to speeding claim that in doing so, these speeders would take away jobs from NASCAR, F-1 and NHRA drivers to name a few.

Meanwhile, on the mean streets of the U.S., law enforcement officers have taken to racial profiling, pulling over and stopping vehicles driven by people who appear to be of race descent, even if they were not speeding at the time and have never been under suspicion of being racial before. With budget cuts in states like California, speed traps are becoming ever more common as the stewards of the empty state coffers see an increase in shaking down undocumented speeders as a  means of increasing state revenues.

It’s a sad day when for generations your family has sped on these lands, and the current inhabitants prohibit you from doing the same as your fathers, and their fathers before them. Please write to your congressman and ask for the persecution of undocumented speeders to stop. Amnesty and your tax dollars to make speeding legal is a much more humane way of dealing with the issue rather than burdening these poor helpless speeders with traffic fines and the threat of losing their driving visas. We’re a better nation than this. We welcome the tired, the poor, the hungry… and even the speeders.

God bless America.

2 thoughts on “Undocumented Speeders on the Rise”

  1. Perhaps it’s time I reform and start galloping with these stallions instead of puttering along towards the glue factory.

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